Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Today I'm with my friend January Donovan, and we're going to talk about Catholic female formation. And if you're a guy thinking that doesn't apply to me, I got news for you. This is really just about generally human formation. It's about how to human better.
Not just in the high moments, but being intentional about being awesome in the little things that make up what your life becomes in the end. So we're going to focus on how to build skills for that time when you walk in the door, when you're dealing with a lot of stress, all the little things where you're just not intentional about it and you feel like your life's crumbling in a million different ways.
January's got some incredible insights and answers for you today on the Chris Stefanick Show.
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It is so good to be with my favorite Sibuano.
Thank you.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: I will take that throne.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: You still need to go back to the Philippines where you get to cherish the culture, eat the food, and, you know, there's all these reels about how Filipinos really are husbands.
Like, that's kind of what the throne they're taking. And I feel like they robbed you when you were there because that's really what they're known for, the hospitality.
[00:02:01] Speaker A: No, I told her about my trip there. I loved it, loved the people. But, man, they worked me to the bumo.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: They robbed you.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: Like, I'm in Cebu. I'm like, there's whale sharks over there. There's mangoes, like talk, talk, talk.
Next island, Iloilo, which was awesome. But I'll tell you, the food I was not robbed of the Food.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: Oh, it's so good. See, Filipinos. Okay. So when I think about the feminine genius, I think Filipinos are created to nurture in a sense that it's part of our culture. Like, you literally give the shirt off your back, and you come in, and the first thing you do is make sure they have food, make sure you're thinking about them. There's, I think, in so many ways, we can learn so much from that culture of what nurture is and nurture the extent where it's almost irrational generosity.
And so I really look at my culture and say, you know, in some ways, it looks like virtue, but in some ways, it's just embedded into my culture because, like, you're just called to think about the other.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: Filipinos are the world's hobbits.
[00:03:03] Speaker B: Yeah, we are short jumpers.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: No, no, no. It's not in that regard, but don't underestimate the power of, like, the hobbits were, like, they were overlooked by the orcs and by the elves.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Hey, I'll take the throw.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: I'm a total.
Here's the people that actually saved the world, and what were they into?
They were into. It was a culture of nurture.
[00:03:24] Speaker B: It was a culture of nurture.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Let's have a good meal and second breakfast, and let's make the lawn pretty.
But that's 100% what Filipinos do.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Filipino.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Don't underestimate the power of that.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: But don't underestimate the power of feeding someone and feeding their soul by the food.
I mean, I think that's so silly. Think about the. You know, feminism told us to get out of our kitchen.
We have.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Get out of your kitchen.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Yes. Get out of your kitchen.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: I'm thinking to myself, why, dude? Oh.
[00:03:49] Speaker B: I mean, we could convert the world to the kitchen. Imagine the heavenly banquet. Imagine how many times scripture talks about a meal. And yet we have forgotten the art of the kitchen, the art of nurture through food, and that it's just a window to nurturing the soul. Like, it is a really. I would say we should pause the art of the feminine genius by nurturing people owned by the food. I mean, it's how I talk to my kids.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: The devil is just so mean. Okay, there's the understatement of the year. It's understatement of the year, but what a jerk. Like, think about, like, this angelic intellect fallen, and then looking at womankind and thinking, what's all the beautiful stuff about that that people love?
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Let's rip it out.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: Let's Rip that. Let's even the food. Even, like, that part of, like, let's make that a bad association.
A mom with cooking a meal.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: That someone walks in a house and, like, mom or grandma's in the kitchen and cook. Not that men can't cook, too.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: My dad's a great cook.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah, right. But, like, there's something there, and the evil one just wants to dismantle that. It's like, wow, we had to rob everything precious and, like, awesome.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: And we just go along with it.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: We just go along. And I think because of the sexual revolution, women who were in their homes are no longer in their homes. They couldn't actually generationally teach her children what meal, the purpose of a meal, the presence of a woman and bringing a meal together. What does it mean to cook with your heart? My dad always said that my dad was a great cook, and my dad always said, you cook with your heart. Every cut matters. Every slice matters. It's not just a food. It's everything that your whole entire being could. The kitchen could be a walking sanctity, you know, but with my children, do you know how many times I'm like, I'm strategically making this food because I'm strategically selling you in virtue all day long? Like, I mean, I live a very simple life. You know, I teach women for a living. I love my life. It's just simple. You know, people would probably.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: I love that you say that because you're like, it's a simple life. I teach my kids, I cook food. I change the world and fight feminism.
I'm trying to renew parishes. We'll get to that part in a minute, but go ahead.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: But when I say it's simple, like, I love what I do. I get to form women and praise God, I can do it online. And then three o' clock comes, I'm cooking, I'm in the kitchen, and literally, the neighborhood kids come, and I just feed them, and I strategically talk to them. And I'm like, what an incredible blessing to be able to say, Listen, I have the capacity to be able to see these souls, and by feeding them, I have their heart.
So, like, food is a way to nurture a man. First of all, we can have a whole podcast on that. We've lost the art of nurture through a man. Like, we should know our husband's favorite food, exactly how it's cooked, when he wants to eat. And for me, I'm like, I don't leave my work if I know Ryan doesn't have breakfast or lunch. It's like when I lay in bed at night, I'm like, today I failed because there's not lunch. I mean it's just, I think there's so much I believe that we have taken for granted as a woman, those micro excellence and our ability to nurture mentally, emotionally, physically, that we forget that sanctity is right there.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: But the world hears the word nurture and femininity and says there's a weakness attached to that, that's weak. We don't want that. I am woman. Hear me roar. Right.
Let me just give you the floor to just take the boxing gloves off and just start swinging with your knuckles.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: That would be anti feminine, but yes.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: What's gone wrong?
[00:07:30] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: What's happened? What's. I mean, take a swing at feminism and what they're getting wrong. Obviously there are some things that were motivated by desires for actual goods. Everybody's motivated by something good. Right. Thomas Klon has talked about that we can only choose the good. It's disordered goods that become sin and destructive. Right. So where do things? What are we all getting wrong?
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Yes. So if we just.
Great. So I think that the, the church has always valued women, but it was also imperfect in a sense that if you look back 150 years ago, women were not seen as equal men. There was a real injustice. There was a lot of abuse that was happening and we can't bypass that. So you know, the first wave feminism rightfully said we want equality.
And I think that, that in some ways, you know, whether we're fallen, I think brought about some form of good. Right. We didn't want to be able to live in a world where women were not equal. But then it quick, yeah, and. But it's not even just couldn't vote that we weren't seen as somebody who could bring value in society. And I think women's value is irreplaceable and unrepeatable. And so then fast forward, I think to the sexual revolution. It kind of just took a massive turn. And this could be argued, but that's not really the point of what we do.
It took a radical turn to say now it's no longer I want equality.
I can be like a man. I don't need a man. Let's bring women out of their homes, let's make sure that we then become just like men. And when you think about it in a very micro level, you know, women walk in the boardroom, they wear a suit, they, the tone changes. They don't need to. The metric of success Was based on masculine metrics so that we can really be equal.
And so what we did was we basically created a world that was genderless.
We took away what was beautiful in a woman and also suppress what was beautiful in a man and said to be equal. Autonomy became our God.
Let's not create distinction. And so what that began, you know, then all that then trickled in our own homes. Now women were not taking care of their homes the way they should, because now we have to be equal. They're now working. And so what we have, I think, are women who don't actually know how to be a woman.
So feminism robbed us of our femininity, our faith, and I think of family.
And what we have right now, though, is data that it hasn't worked because the mental health crisis has now surpassed cancer. Did you know that? That's wild. That was just a new data, basically,
[00:10:02] Speaker A: as a cause of death.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: As a cause of a crisis. Yeah.
I don't necessarily think it's death as it is that there's more people reporting mental health crisis than cancer.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, okay.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: One out of three teenagers are lonely. Reportedly 40% of teenagers say that they have suffered loneliness and some form of mental illness. 1 out of 3 adult senior citizens are seeing loneliness. It's an international epidemic. What we have is, I think, a data that says, well, it's not working.
You know, the current model of women is not working. We're not thriving.
And so I think that what the model of femininity 150 years ago was this idea of fragile femininity where women were silent and suppressed and seen a second class citizen. And we've kind of gone to the radical extreme where a model of women right now is vicious feminism, which is, I don't need a man, Rage is empowerment, and I can suppress my fertility, my femininity, and I don't need a man. It's so radical that I think people are saying, wait a minute, both no longer works. We don't want to go back to the way it was. And there's nothing fragile about being a woman. There's nothing fragile about our lady, if you think about motherhood. And so what we have right now is an opportunity like never before to introduce a new model of women where the world is saying, now what? Before feminism was untouchable. You couldn't say anything about feminism. Now what we have seen is the data tells us it's women, I think are saying, no, I don't want this. I don't want to sign up for the fact that I don't want to be like a man.
And I think what we're seeing oddly
[00:11:32] Speaker A: shaped man is the definition of success. Like really?
[00:11:35] Speaker B: Yes, yes, exactly. You know, power, status, all these things that I think have always been associated with male metric. And so what we need to introduce is how can we introduce a new model of femininity that reaches the heights of our God given potential without suppressing our femininity, our family and our, you know, I think our desire to be able to become who God created us to be. And I think this is the time for us to actually be able to do that.
And I think this is where we introduce our lady as a new model of femininity in the world that I think is hungry for her.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: What does a powerful Catholic understanding of femininity look like?
[00:12:17] Speaker B: I think John Paul II, the feminine genius.
It's almost been close to 40 years.
[00:12:22] Speaker A: Yeah, tell us all about that.
That's thrown around, right? Define it. Someone's never heard of the feminine genius.
Did he write something called the feminine genius? What is this?
[00:12:31] Speaker B: I think it's.
It's the heights of woman's potential that is in harmony with her nature.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: The heights of woman's potential that's in harmony with her nature, her God given
[00:12:40] Speaker B: nature that is different from men. That she has an irreplaceable contribution to the world, specifically as a woman in every facet of society.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: And I think that we have the intellectual understanding of that, but not the incarnational lived experience of what that looks like. I think we, you know, the feminine genius, when we talk about women's distinct, I think women are oriented towards people. That's why they think women are complex, because we're oriented towards people and people are dynamic. Right. Whereas men, I think, are oriented towards building towards things.
And so our capacity to be oriented towards people gives us a very unique place to be able to build culture.
You know, we have a womb that God has given us that is so beautiful that we have this, I would say innate ability to be relational.
But because I believe of the culture, we don't know our potential. We don't know who we are, we don't know what a woman is.
We don't understand our nature as nurturers of humanity. To me, that's what the feminine genius is, is that she has been entrusted to nurture humanity, nurture mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, to its greatness, to its sanctity. That is our role.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: That's a superpower.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: Because women are void of nurture.
How can we nurture our Homes, our husbands and the world, if we ourselves have been void of nurture.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Wow.
See, people think of like, again, that's a weak word. Right. But men, what's your role? To lead, to visionary, to defend, to protect.
And these are beautiful distinctions, but they think what will lead is better than nurture. Wait, hold on. Nurture is actually a form of lead. It's a different way of doing it.
[00:14:22] Speaker B: Yes, it's exactly. And I think the confusion is that it has to look like men.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: Right. You know, be an oddly shaped man.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And I said, but I think that we're ready for. We're ready to be able to walk in, you know, our classrooms or, you know, in our organizations and lead as a woman, that our nurturing capacity is actually what makes us so irreplaceable in organizations, in our own homes. The problem right now is that women are not formed. And so we have to.
When I think about John Paul, too, he's anchored us with the philosophy and theology we need to teach women how to live their feminine genius well in everyday moments, in the micro moments of our lives, what does it look like to nurture in conversation? Chris?
What does it look like for a woman to walk in every single room and understand that her role is to nurture that room? What does it require for a woman to be so formed that she has a capacity to observe the room and think, what is my role in contributing value in this particular moment in time? Isn't that what sanctity is? And can we form women to that level of formation and excellence that she's no longer thinking about herself in that moment, but rather she's thinking about how to serve and contribute in the most tender micro moments that maybe the world doesn't see, but she sees because she offers everything for God and with God.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: Could it be where the feminists went wrong was that they accepted the belittling of femininity?
Right.
We're going to receive that words like nurture are actually less than, so we're going to throw those away.
And you're coming back with. With John Paul, too, and fully swinging and saying, let's raise that word up, because it's actually equal to lead.
Yes, in its own way, but maybe
[00:16:16] Speaker B: we too are responsible for it. Chris, what I'm saying, to me, as a Catholic woman, maybe we haven't modeled our feminine genius in a way that we ought.
Maybe our void of formation hasn't given culture say, whoa, that's what a beautiful, beautiful woman is. Beauty. Not just physical, but a beautiful woman understands what it means to nurture.
I think that we should take ownership of that. We should take ownership of our role to incarnate Our Lady's virtue in every facet of society. To be able to say, well, the reason why they resort to that lower version is because maybe we haven't introduced the feminine genius. Maybe we haven't taken ownership of what it means to actually be that role model, of what femininity is that's rooted and anchored in Our Lady. Maybe we have robbed our Catholic women of formation that is necessary to give her the capacity to be able to do that and do it well. Because, you know, excellence is attractive.
Excellence in the way we live. Our feminine genius is so attractive that I think when women see it, they'll want it. And when women don't want it, it's maybe because they're repelled by it. But imagine this, Chris, if you had a woman who understand her role to nurture, but she was also competent in conversation, but she also understood the needs of the others. She's able to observe the room, and she's able to do that for in her work environment, maybe as a teacher, but she knows how to hold people accountable. She knows how to pray her way through every single moment.
Women are hungry for that.
Women are hungry for women who actually will mother them. In my opinion, women today have been orphaned of formation and yet commissioned to form our domestic church.
That is an injustice to women.
That is an injustice to good, faithful women, Catholic women who say, january, and I see it. I have thousands of women that come to me and say, I. I pray every day. I'm a daily communicant. I do the rosary. Why am I struggling? And I look at them. I said, it's not your fault. You love our Lord. But faith formation is not the same as human formation, but more importantly, feminine formation. Because in a genderless culture, we can't just form women apart from their sexuality.
We have to do a better job forming our faithful Catholic women and say, how do you feel? How do you live out your feminine genius in the micro moments? Let me ask you a question.
So let's just say you're a mom of five children and you're cooking in the kitchen. You've got a baby and you're cooking, and so your husband's coming in, somebody's doing homework, you've got maybe a preteen, kind of like speaking ill. So let's just say that's me because I have eight children. Right?
[00:19:04] Speaker A: And you're juggling.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Yes. So let's just think about this. So I've got a baby, I'm cooking, and then I'm making sure that there's order in my kitchen. I'm thinking of the time when has dinner started? And I'm looking at my preteen who may be speaking ill, and I say, you may not speak to me that way. That is inappropriate. And then in that, like, flash of second, I'm teaching my, you know, five year old to say, well, let's just do the homework right now. This is how you do it. And then you've got a baby in tow. Right. And then you're making sure that it's
[00:19:29] Speaker A: a recipe for insanity.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And then your husband comes in and you're greeting them. So scenario A, okay. You have no. Like, how many skills do you think does a woman actually need?
Skills are just virtues.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: You just described meltdown moment.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: Honestly.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: But I'm going to redeem this meltdown moment and I'm going to tell women it's not your fault, because here's the reality. How many skills does a woman actually need, Chris, in that very moment in time, being able to manage her mind when there's a lot of things going on, in command of her emotion so that she's not upset when her child is speaking out to her. Knowing how to clean as you cook, so you don't have an overwhelming amount of kitchen cooking. A sense of rhythm of life, so you're paying attention to the clock and then knowing how to make sure you're also seizing the food. And then you're looking at your baby to make sure you're smiling. And then you're disciplining in that hot second, creating a boundary. And then shift my tone so I can be like, you may absolutely not do that. Hey, listen. Hey, make sure you do this math homework this way and go, hey, honey. And then your husband comes in and you're like, hi.
In that moment, Chris, how many skills do you think a woman actually needs?
[00:20:33] Speaker A: A lot of skills, man. Yes, right. I love how you framed it as something exciting to tackle, because I think most of us think of that scenario as just a nightmare, you know, and just how do I get out of it?
[00:20:44] Speaker B: That's what sanctity is.
[00:20:45] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it, man. That's something to be excited about. But that's hard.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: But okay, I'm gonna say it's hard because we have not. We talk about. We don't have the mindset formation. We don't have the skills. Because scenario B would be.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: I'd add too, that you Also need the karate skill that if your husband walks in to that situation and says, why isn't the dinner ready? That you can also chop in the fridge.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: I love you.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: That's a different thing.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I say I love you, but that's actually not the right way to say things. No, seriously, accountability is an important skill. When we don't hold our husbands accountable, we create monsters around us and within us.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: We create monsters around us and we don't hold people accountable.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Yes, we create the standard.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: We could do a show, but we
[00:21:23] Speaker B: create the sin in our own homes and vice versa, by the way.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: We get what we tolerate.
[00:21:27] Speaker B: Correct? We get what we tolerate. We teach people how to, you know, to treat us. My dad always told me that.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: What's up, you guys? I'm so glad you're watching. Would you please let us inspire you every single day?
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[00:22:17] Speaker B: And so, you know, I just want to go back to. Because I think this is like so many women. If we gave women training on mind management and emotional command and learning how to, you know, manage her tonality and learning how to cook efficiently. Like my dad always said, you know, cook as you clean and cook with your heart. Learning to do that and learning how to manage our facial expression, learning how to know that our self worth is never connected to our failures during that moment. If we fail knowing how to think about the order of the home, that wouldn't be a meltdown moment.
That would be an opportunity to say, this is the gift of the present moment. And I get to do this over and over again. And guess what? You compound that day after day after your domestic church is thriving by tone alone. I could break a man or build a man.
If I go up to you and be like, hey, what's up? Coming home, the man's gonna be like, okay, that's great. He's not gonna think, but can you imagine if. Hey, hon. How was your work?
Same language, different tonality. The nurturing capacity of one by tone alone, which we have no training on. Tone alone. Tone is so powerful. You know, the basic of communication is 7% words, 38% tonality, and 55% body language. Why don't we have that?
[00:23:32] Speaker A: Say that again.
[00:23:33] Speaker B: Basis of communication, which we should have in every engagement course in every college.
7% is words. 38% tonality and 55% body language. If we don't have and ingrain that in our head, you know, we could be thinking we're loving our children and they don't actually feel loved.
It's not just about loving them. It's that they feel loved.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: And when you're busy with all the things, oh, yeah, it's easy to just say, yeah, I love you.
Check the box.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: Or don't do that, or I expect you not to do that.
Firm tone. I love you. And that's just training, like basic boot camp. Boot camp for our feminine genius. You know, because it's not women's fault if they've never been shown how.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: Or they're not even thinking about this because they like all of us.
We value what our output is rather than who we are. And we forget how important the person I'm bringing in the door is for the people around me. Because sometimes I get into this headset, I just get so busy, and what matters to my wife and kids is like, who's dad today when he comes home in the door, just be. Just be dad. Just hang out. Be the blessing.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: Yeah. We have remembered not for what we do, but how we make people feel.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: The church. Well, I hate to say the church, because the church doesn't overlook it. If you're not overlooking it. We are the church. Right.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: We are the church.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: A pilgrim church.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: There it is. But I think we often overlook this because we say faith formation and human formation and we make a sharp line where God doesn't.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: You know, and he wants just to bring all of us to a place of thriving. But gosh, even when I say this, some people are going to be hearing it, thinking, oh, self help talk. This is a different category. Life coaching. Different category. As if the church just cares about us doing behavior modification and not sinning anymore. Like, really, that's. That's the bar where Jesus set things in the Gospels. I kind of don't. You know. Did you miss the whole I came to give you Life to the full.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Yes. God's glory is man fully alive. Fully alive in our kitchen as Saint Irenaeus. Yes, Saint Irenaeus. Fully alive in our boredom. Fully alive in our marriage, like. But I think we as a church can look at our data and say, you know what? We have a lot, an abundance of faith formation, but maybe we need to integrate both faith and human formation, but more specifically formation that is rooted in our nature, men and women. And I think that we need to.
Okay, just. I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but I went to a college. I was speaking to about 200 girls and I said, how much money are you going to pay after you graduate college? You know? Yeah, they're like, I don't know, $200,000 in debt roughly, right? And I said, student loans, student loans. I said, how many decisions does a woman make by average a day?
No one knew. Do you know?
[00:26:20] Speaker A: No, I have no idea.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: 25,000 decisions.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: How's it even possible?
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Because I turn right, turn left. It's, you know, this data.
But the decisions, not all decisions are equal. Some decisions carry the weight of our eternity.
Why is it that after $200,000 in debt, we are not taught the most basic foundation of what allows us to flourish, which is our decision. Decision making skills is pivotal in choosing life.
Not just life with a baby, but life in our thought, life in our words, life in the way I talk to my husband.
Life to have abundant.
And so even in the most. Even our education system has robbed us of the most foundational tools that are necessary to actually be a happy human being. I asked them, Sam, what's the base of communication? None of them knew. I'm like, really? I don't want to throw them under the bus, but I kind of want to throw them under the bus. After $200,000 of education, we need to do a better job forming our youth, forming mothers that are raising priests in vocation, you know, and it seems to me that Our Lady's sort of like, okay, we, we honor our lady, but in so many ways because of been so void of formation, we don't think about her incarnating her virtues on a micro moments.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: And I want to introduce the micro moments matter.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: The micro moments is where we feel loved, seen and heard. The feminine genius is about making people seen, feel, loved and heard in that micro moment that it doesn't, you know, I always say, you know, St. Francis said, go preach the gospel. If necessary, use words. What if we say, go tell the world about Our lady and if necessary, use words.
What if our very presence becomes an experience of truth beating goodness by the way, we nurture them.
By thought alone, we could build so many people. But we have not formed the women. Chris. Comparison and competition poisons friendships.
It poisons marriage, judgment, criticism. I mean, and it's not women's fault. That's what I keep saying, that we have to form women today so that they become the embodiment of Our lady,
[00:28:30] Speaker A: something that stops people from actually making change. There's a sad mindset among many Catholics that misery is kind of a good thing.
You know what I mean?
[00:28:39] Speaker B: I do.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: While you can offer it up, it's not something that should be chosen. Even the martyrs, they did try to escape their martyrdom until when it came, it's like, okay, Lord, now I'm here and I accept it from you, and I offer it up. But it's not something that, for the most part, they were like, no, no, I'm gonna go right into the hands of the Romans right now and stop preaching the gospel so that I can get arrested and killed. Like, no, no, I'm gonna try to keep living my life.
Paul was lowered by a basket out of a window. He ran around, they got him, and he's like, okay, he got me.
But there's women who find themselves and men who find themselves in that situation where it's like, I'm so exhausted, I'm drowning. And okay.
To think I could get happier in this situation isn't godly thinking, but to think rather just merely offer it. Okay, no, offer it. And so anyway, I'm sorry for over pitching the question. How do you respond to that?
[00:29:32] Speaker B: Well, I think, number one, it's based on a victim mindset.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: A victim mindset.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Correct. Which means there's no hope, and there's no hope that things could be better. In some ways, it's lack of faith in our Lord. Okay? So it's like the only tool I have in my toolbox is to offer it up and to think that I have no part in cooperating with God to change something in the future. Okay? So I think the foundation of that is our mindset, which Carol Dweck wrote a book on mindset which is based on this premise of growth or fixed mindset. I think our church needs to actually really talk about this, because the growth mindset, very simple, is that you're open to being changed, you're open to feedback. You know, that your failure doesn't mean you're a failure yet that you can receive. It's really Actually, about humility, the fixed mindset is, I'm fixed. Nothing changes. This is what it is. I'm only living for eternity. Nothing gets better. And so what we have is this idea that this is it. This is as good as it gets. I'm like, aren't we called to make heaven and earth? And how can we bring heaven on earth by cooperating with grace and say, what can I do by the grace of God to form and change the quality of my life? Let's just say you don't like your. Your weight or you don't like your marriage. There's something that you can do. And so. But that's based on this idea of growth and fixed mindset. And I really think that we should, you know, I think take some of these secular formation and infuse it with real life Catholic formation. Because to me, humility, right, the foundational virtue, that's what the mindset is. To me, humility, the way we define it is to, you know, to be able to reach the heights of your potential and your purpose for the greater glory of God. That's what I think true humility is. It's ownership of your purpose and your call. And I think when we don't have the right mindset, when we're fixed and we're, nothing can change. It's like somebody brings in and say, what about this? And you're like, I'm good.
[00:31:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: It's like, hey, I'm giving you a life vest. I'm good. The only thing I can do is essentially just offered up. But part of that is so neurologically wired. It's so habitual. They don't know that they're doing it.
It's like habit judgment. Judging other people is habit. We don't know we're doing it. And so our mindset is shaped by what day in repetition of habitual pattern, of being able to say, I can't change. There's nothing that I can do to change. And unless we actually fix a mindset to have growth, mindset, nothing can grow. Humility comes from root word humus, which is a rich, dark soil in which all things can grow.
What is the common denominator of happy people? Progress. Why don't we adopt that to say, how am I progressing in my formation so that I actually cannot just be upset about the fact that I don't like this part of my life and actually do something about it. We have to address women's and men's mindset and ask ourselves, do I have a fix or growth Mindset, you know, and the way this, I think plays out, even my own marriage, like, I always think I have a growth mindset, which it's not all the time. I have growth mindset. You know, I remember Ryan would always like, drop like, January. You should probably watch what you're eating, you know, because I'm like, I'm Filipino. I eat everything. Like, please don't tell me not to eat. You know, and just like, it's a
[00:32:39] Speaker A: very dangerous phrase to eat.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like, really, Ryan? Like, you know, like in rice. I love rice. Rice doesn't love me back. Like, it makes me foggy brain foggy because it has arsenic in it. You just study. And so I'm always like. And Ryan is always studying about health.
[00:32:51] Speaker A: It's very not Filipino of you.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: I know.
[00:32:53] Speaker A: It's so not Asian.
[00:32:54] Speaker B: It's. It's actually, I feel like God's tricked me. I'm just.
But I was. He would, you know, bring some of this, like, you know, kind of studies. And I just had a fixed mindset about it. And then so our marriage, we have a language that said, that's a fixed mindset. That's growth mindset. So now we can say, okay, you're right. Like, I'm actually not open to. To your feedback, to a new way of thinking, a new way of being. And actually that's a form of pride. So now we have a language within our marriage to say that's a fixed mindset. Imagine that language within friendship, within my children. I can ask my children. I'm like, well, that's actually a fixed mindset. And they're like, you're right, mom, I'm actually not open to your feedback, but I can change it.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Wow, that's really cool.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: But if we don't change our mindset and if we don't understand that, how can we even begin to actually achieve
[00:33:40] Speaker A: sanctity and happiness and thriving and all the other stuff? Like when we think I'm already fixed because I've stopped committing mortal sins all the time.
[00:33:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:51] Speaker A: And therefore I'm gonna get to heaven. But you know, you gotta get there and you gotta kick yourself for making the ride there so miserable when you didn't have to. Like the self imposed misery. Right. Because ongoing conversion is not just about continuing to not commit mortal sins.
[00:34:07] Speaker B: Yes, but I'm push it even harder. Chris, how many people are influenced by your misery? Isn't it that we evangelize through our presence that joy is so contagious that our feminine genius lived out so Beautifully, it becomes the walking evangelization. So if you're miserable and you're preaching the faith and you're telling people to be faithful and you're telling the world about Our lady, what does that say?
How many souls can we bring to heaven? Because we have assumed that we can just be miserable. No, heaven on earth, that the very excellence and joy and flourishment that we can live.
You know, we bring so many souls to heaven. How could you achieve virtue outside of a fixed mindset if you're not willing to change? We have to address this, because this is how we make saints, is that we are clearly imperfect human beings who need the grace of God, but also to study ourselves and say, you're right. I just thank you for that feedback. My children do all the time. I'm like, mom, actually, you need to retone yourself. I'm like, you're right. You know, but imagine if that was the culture and the infrastructure within our friendship, our marriage, that we are open to growth and feedback, to doing something better, that we can make things better for ourselves.
We would revolutionize our church.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Totally.
Oh, man.
What are you doing about all this?
And first, congratulations on having the audacity to think I can actually do something about all this, because most of us see problems and we just sit around a podcast and complain about them.
And you're saying, let's do it, man. Let's give those skills. Let's help a woman thrive as she juggles knives with her feet and holds a baby here and whatever, and then teaching at the same time.
[00:35:48] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:35:49] Speaker A: And whatever you're doing.
[00:35:50] Speaker B: Well, it has been the cross of my life to be able to be a messenger of this work. I'm just going to be honest. And I. I've been doing this almost close to 30 years, actually, the Jubilee year. Do you know Ms. Leki from Steubenville?
[00:36:01] Speaker A: Who?
[00:36:02] Speaker B: Ms. Lakey. Anyways, she was the Ms. Leckey. Ms. Leakey. Yeah, she. I was in Austria and I was. Entered the jubilee doors, John Paul ii. And it was so clear we need to celebrate femininity and bring out the feminine genius. I had no idea. Like, it was just kind of like, you know, I was young, and so from that moment, I tried so hard to be able to bring out formation for women.
But, you know, I feel like Jonah, where. I feel like I've certain moments in my life where I'm like, oh, Lord, I'm done. Like, honestly, Lord, like, I'm done. Like, find somebody else who doesn't have eight children, you know, and I love a simple life. And so this work to be, you know, social media, I'm saving a lot of souls. Social media, I'm just being honest.
But in some ways, I'm a byproduct of formation.
And I can't, like, stand next to a coffee line and not think. I overhear the conversation. And it hurts me. Yeah, it hurts me because what if nobody performed me, Chris?
[00:37:05] Speaker A: What if nobody performed you?
[00:37:06] Speaker B: Yes. What if nobody ever took the time to be able to say, you know, let's, you know, give this wretched girl an opportunity to be able to know our Lord?
And coming from my abortion story, like, if nobody ever taught me how to build a routine, manage my mind, understand my role, I would love the Lord and not know how to live my feminine genius.
And so I see this as, you know, I'm a messenger for this work. Okay, I'm going to say something, to be honest, sincerely, like, the reason why I do this or has sustained this work is because of my husband.
The heights of the feminine. I would say potential cannot be reached outside the masculine genius.
[00:37:54] Speaker A: We need each other.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: We need.
We need each other.
And we need, you know, I think that just on a personal level, for me, I'm just so grateful for my husband who was raised. Who was one of 11 children, has nine sisters, are now is really running this formation movement. And he, you know, he is just. He's just a beautiful.
[00:38:16] Speaker A: Ryan's awesome.
[00:38:17] Speaker B: He is. He's like a walking saint. I live with him, you know, I'm just great. But we do need a Catholic masculine formation. And I have think there's a great person that would someday.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: That's the next project.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. But.
But men or women are skills really
[00:38:35] Speaker A: go into the life skill building.
[00:38:37] Speaker B: That's what it is. It's skills.
It's just.
It's skills, but it's also mindset. We talk about that we need to know how to think. We need to know how to really, truly renew our mind so that in that moment where, you know, things could feel like falling apart, you're like, my worth is not on the line. God loves me. I know exactly how to manage every situation. And formation, let's just kind of define that, is the ongoing process of shaping our mindset and developing our skill set so we have greater capacity to choose our highest good.
[00:39:05] Speaker A: Say that again.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: Formation is a shaping of our mindset and developing of our skill set so we have greater capacity to choose our highest good.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: I love it. I love the word mindset.
So do I. Jesus started his Ministry by saying metanoia, which does not mean repent. It means change your mind.
[00:39:22] Speaker B: Correct? Yes.
[00:39:23] Speaker A: I mean, repentance is part of it, but actually the byproduct of it. I think it's the byproduct.
[00:39:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:39:29] Speaker A: Yeah. The Romans translated that as penitentiam, which is like. That's just not what he was saying.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: Yes. And the mindset of things shifts our perception of even that moment that everything could be for God's greater glory. That even, you know that you're carrying the crosses of your life, but you're carrying with such joy and hope and that you're carrying it with knowing that it's. It's like.
It's just failure, you know, that doesn't mean I'm a failure.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: So so much of the work that we do is literally shifting women's mindset. Because some things externally we can't change. It's outside the bounds of our own control. I think there's a lot in our control in terms of shifting our mindset and developing some of the skillset, but the reality is that we can't.
But we can control our thoughts, and that by thought alone, we could change the perception of that very moment. We could celebrate the gift of all these different things and say, I'll tell this story.
Cause one of the Christmas that we were here, everybody was like. Everyone was puking, you know, in my house. Like, it was just. And I was.
[00:40:33] Speaker A: I hate those Christmases.
[00:40:35] Speaker B: Well, but this is actually my point, okay? It's my point because I was looking at my children, and I was like, do you remember the time when Christmas, everyone was speaking and it was a memory of laughter?
Do you see what I mean? But that was a mindset three years later. No, it was, like, three years ago. And we were like, you know, And I think because we have trained our children to say, like, it's just puke. It's not, you know. You know, it's just people. I mean, literally, Chris, it was like, we had a barf bag everywhere. It was hilarious. But I could look at that with jewelry. I could look at it with like, oh, it was horrible. But that's just a mindset shift so that my children can look back at a memory and laugh about it and not feel like, oh, it was horrible. Okay. Part of. I think our shift of our mindset is a shift of language.
Words become flesh.
And so the words that I choose has to be so intentional. That shapes my perception.
[00:41:29] Speaker A: Wow.
Words become flesh.
[00:41:32] Speaker B: If I'm thinking, this is horrible. It was Awful.
Guess what? We have this part of our brain called a reticular activating system. RAs that are God designed.
That what I focus on, I have more evidence of. If I'm looking for a white Honda or van, I'm going to see all of them. I never saw them before. Right.
So a reticular activity system allows us to actually focus our words, give us kind of evidence of what we're looking for. So what if we shift to that situation and say, it's just another day in paradise. Which is what we say in our house. It's just another day in paradise. I'm like, great, everyone's barfing. Not that there isn't real sacrifice that we can shift our mindset to be able to see the redemption, the joy.
Because you can't preach joy frowning.
You know that. Right? But I'm just saying. But these are just tools that I think we have been robbed of.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: I was even reading that stress.
That stress kills. Right.
[00:42:23] Speaker B: Stress causes inflammation.
[00:42:24] Speaker A: But when people enjoy their stress and see it as a positive thing, it actually extends your life.
[00:42:28] Speaker B: Really?
[00:42:29] Speaker A: Yeah. This blew my mind. I gotta dig more into the studies than that. It's stress negatively perceived.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: Correct. Yeah.
[00:42:35] Speaker A: That starts to wear your body down. Now, sometimes there is too much going on and you need to take a deep breath and step back from the chaos. But there's something about that. I think the Lord said metanoia. The evil one's also saying, I want to meteor noia. I want to change your mind.
Most of the misery happening inside family life or inside marriage is like, I'm bringing the wrong mindset right now.
[00:42:55] Speaker B: Yes. And that shapes the quality of your marriage.
And all of this is a shift of language and a shift of perception. And that's why in my house, there's illegal words. And we teach women.
You have to make sure that you use words accurately and use words to bring hope and not harm, even amidst the difficulties.
Because how can we have a culture of life if our words choose death?
[00:43:18] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:43:19] Speaker B: And that's one of the just simple things that we can do.
Revamp whole entire language in our domestic church.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: How are you teaching women?
Honestly, Just make this a sales pitch right now. Because this conversation, honestly, it helps me. This is really uplifting for me.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Thank you.
Because you're so receptive, you've got the humility to be able to be like, wow, I see that.
[00:43:37] Speaker A: No, I'm a leaky tire like anybody else, man.
The work has been a grind lately.
And there's just been like, at home, like, sometimes when the work's a grind, marriage gets a little colder. I'm not as soft with the kids. And hearing you right now, like, putting the right mindset on be intentional about those micro victories at home. It's like, oh, shoot, I gotta keep my eye on the more important ball.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: Well, you're so good. You're doing a lot. You're doing a lot for the church. I really. You and I are right here.
[00:44:05] Speaker A: But I can't overlook the most important things which has to do with who I am. Right?
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:09] Speaker A: And so thanks for the reminder.
Seriously.
[00:44:11] Speaker B: So you just need a good vacation in Hawaii.
Sorry I signed up.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: You hear that, Lord?
[00:44:18] Speaker B: I'm always telling my husband. I'm like, hey, Chris is going to Hawaii and we should go with Natalie and Chris.
[00:44:22] Speaker A: Yeah, you should.
[00:44:23] Speaker B: We all need leisure. Leisure is important.
Sorry. Okay. Go back too.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: And speaking of which, there's a sales pitch.
No, what is it? Oh, yeah. You sign up for our daily anchor.
[00:44:32] Speaker B: Yes. Yes.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: We actually created a URL reallifecatholic.com Hawaii, you get a chance at not only daily inspiration, but also winning a pilgrimage to beauty and Kalaupapa.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
I was putting my name in the
[00:44:45] Speaker A: ball on the tee for me mid show.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: I'm here for you. But it was selfish. I wanted to go to Hawaii, dude.
[00:44:52] Speaker A: I know a guy who will ensure that you guys get drawn in the drawing. There's nothing illegal about that
[00:44:59] Speaker B: riot. I was like, ryan, what do you think if I just put my name. But I'll just text Chris directly because then maybe I'll get him just.
[00:45:05] Speaker A: There it is.
Yeah. Tell me. Well, tell me about the new initiative you're doing.
And this.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: So the New Woman masterclass. Can I just grab that? So the New Woman masterclass. This is our new masterclass.
It's pretty much a year long formation journey and it is a formation that's done in small group. And so it's called the New Woman, which our work has been to bridge Our lady towards the world. It's called the New Woman. It's actually the new Eve. But it's beautiful.
It's universal language. It's transcendental language. Truth be and goodness. But what we're doing is that we're able to be able to bring into organizations and institutions and say we need to teach women how to be a woman. So we're going to colleges and we are introducing this course of how to be a woman, but also for mothers, for business. But this New Woman masterclass, we are launching our Catholic feminine formation, which is essentially Our feminine genius lived out. And we teach about 100 skills.
[00:46:02] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:46:03] Speaker B: And we have.
If you go in here, this is just a workbook. Each of our lessons are.
This is like the part that I always want to say. It's 64 lessons, about half an hour each. So it's pretty. It's a PhD on yourself. Okay, So I just.
[00:46:18] Speaker A: Why don't you want to say that part? That's cool.
[00:46:20] Speaker B: Well, because it frightens women, you know, But I'm like, you're so dynamic.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: And you were like, look, we're going to dial this in in four lessons.
[00:46:26] Speaker B: I'll be like, I can't.
[00:46:28] Speaker A: I don't think so.
[00:46:29] Speaker B: Everyone's always like, julian, can we cut it short? I'm like, I cannot cut how amazing you are.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Like, it's not, you know.
[00:46:35] Speaker B: So. Okay, I'm gonna give you. So this right here, this scripture, which you know, is rooted in the whole version of the woman. So our vision is to replace. I am a woman. Hear me more with I am a woman, whole and fully alive.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: I am a woman. Hear me roar to. I am woman, whole and fully alive. Very cool.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: Right? We want to evangelize our sexuality. Right.
So. And also it comes from the scripture, Be perfect as your heavenly father's perfect. Matthew 5, 8. And perfect comes from the root word to leisure, which is to be whole.
So what does it mean to be whole? Well, we have to actually intentionally form ourselves to be able to design a life that feels whole and alive. Okay. Not perfect as in flawless, but feels alive. So we dive into our self image. What does it mean to be a woman? Our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.
What does it mean? Because we now have data that stress causes inflammation. So we can't just exercise and not think. Well, we can't just, you know, exercise
[00:47:31] Speaker A: can be a stress.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: That's true.
Yeah, you're right. Because it's not integrated, it's not focused on to what end? Right. And then friendship, which is a massive, I think, crisis. Loneliness is a massive crisis. And I think depth of connection has been so missing because women actually don't know how to connect deeply. They don't have conversation skills. They don't know how to connect. There's a lot of comparison, competition.
[00:47:50] Speaker A: Well, if they don't, then I'm hopeless.
[00:47:52] Speaker B: No, you're not hopeless.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: I'm way better than guys at it by nature, honestly.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: You are really good at connecting.
[00:47:57] Speaker A: I will say, you know, maybe me personally, but like, in general.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: I mean, guys in general.
[00:48:02] Speaker A: Guys in general, like, and I have a Hard time with guys. Yeah, it's just been a thing I've had to practice with, just sitting down with guys.
[00:48:08] Speaker B: You're right. You're right. And you're really good at it. Can I just, like a quick story?
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:12] Speaker B: So Ryan, who's not from Stephenville, you know, he's kind of stoked, like, the connection, you know, and he's. He's just amazing. And I remember when he would meet Superville people, like, everybody just drops the L bomb. I love you, man. You know?
[00:48:25] Speaker A: Oh, the L bomb.
[00:48:27] Speaker B: And he's like, because I met you through Ryan. So he's like, chris always tells me, I love you, man. I was like. And Ryan, who's like, kind of stoic, is like, I'm just gonna start using the album. But he doesn't, you know, like, men are not taught. But in Stephenville, I think there was. I think even it's just funny because it's like, Chris loves me.
[00:48:47] Speaker A: You know what I mean? I have a lot of feminine genius. I really do.
[00:48:51] Speaker B: You've been loved? Well, no, but it's such a good, important skill for men. Because men right now are so lonely. I mean, we can't even talk about the men. But anyways, marriages, the importance of, like, how many skills do you think we need for marriage preparation? Ongoing skills. And then our contribution. Women are called in. Every facet of society is jump ball too. How do we dream and how do we incarnate our genius in every facet of society? So what are the skills? How do we build our domestic church? Like, what are the 50 skills a woman needs?
[00:49:20] Speaker A: Just to do the little things that are needed.
[00:49:21] Speaker B: Yes. To do with great love. Right. I'm on Teresa. And then our wealth, which is time, is our greatest wealth. Our resources, our talents, and then our family. So what we do is that we give women hundreds of skills. But the first part of our formation is really mindset and the second part is skill set.
And essentially, you know, when you go into the second commandment, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
How do you love yourself if you don't know thyself, Chris.
So our vision is to be able to introduce in you a mass cross and create infrastructure where self study formation becomes part of our daily life. We pray, we eat, we study ourselves. Not so we can be full of ourselves, but so we can give the best of who we are in the world.
You know, we need to study how we make people feel. We need to study our prayers.
We need to study the men in our lives. How am I supposed to Levine if I'm not studying him. And so the new master class teaches us how to be able to incarnate those skillsets. And what I love is that it's in context of what we call feminine formation circles. You study amongst women.
[00:50:18] Speaker A: Beautiful.
[00:50:18] Speaker B: Because that's accountability, that step of friendship. So you're not just hanging out and coming together. Because women come up to me, I'm like, okay, we're in this mom's group, or we're in this group, but we don't have direction, and we're just kind of like, talking. I'm like, what we want is quite quality connection when we're holding each other accountable to becoming our highest good so that we can truly say, be who God created you be and set the world on fire. What does that look like if we don't study ourselves?
So that's what our hope is, is that. Imagine if we had feminine information all over the world.
I mean, that to me, it's like, what. You know, it's what keeps me up at night, you know, it's like, lord, what an incredible, I would say, gift. Even though the cross of my life, that we could usher something that could revolutionize the world. But why would it revolutionize the world? How? Because it's one woman at a time. I'm not saying I want to change the world. I'm saying I'm going to fight for my interior life and that it's no longer having freedom. But I think the new fight for feminism is interior freedom. The freedom to choose our highest good.
[00:51:14] Speaker A: Interior freedom. Yes.
[00:51:16] Speaker B: And so every woman can say, I can change myself.
That, you know, when you have a spouse coming in as a. I can't change my spouse. We don't actually teach you to change your spouse. We actually, you know, we resist it. I said, you can never change your spouse. You can only inspire him to change by the way you live out your femininity through the level of formation. And so that's our mission. It's very simple.
[00:51:36] Speaker A: That's awesome.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: One form Duvan at a time. Rebuilding culture.
[00:51:40] Speaker A: It's awesome.
[00:51:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:42] Speaker A: Okay, so there's the program. But what if I'm thinking, like, I want to bring this to my parish?
What do I do to have multiple groups?
I mean, you could do this in your house with friends, but sometimes if you get the institution behind it, you don't have to. You don't need permission from your pastor to do literally anything you want to do as a baptized, confirmed Catholic. But if you do get the institution behind it, then it could be a wildfire.
[00:52:04] Speaker B: So the Catholic fan formation is actually our institutional model. If you want to bring Catholic fan information in your parish, you just contact us at Catholic Fanformation and our team will essentially go to your parish, go to your business, go to your organization, go to pregnancy center, and essentially teach you and form your leaders to then create formation circles.
[00:52:24] Speaker A: Yeah, serious operation here.
Catholicfeminformation.com Catholic yeah. And then they'll.
[00:52:29] Speaker B: And we'll train your formators, and we'll train your leaders. We assign actually an ambassador, which is your designated parish formator, so that you have office hours if you have any questions about. Because this is going to be deep into your work, you have access to them so that every parish now has a designated feminine formator.
And we.
The way this works is that you have feminine formation circles like you would a Bible study.
[00:52:52] Speaker A: Awesome.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: And you just grow together.
[00:52:54] Speaker A: Praise God.
[00:52:55] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: I'm proud of you. Thank you, Chris, as a friend. And Ryan's watching you too, man.
[00:53:02] Speaker B: Well, he's literally just. He is my anchor, you know?
[00:53:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
There's just more of this has to be done in every field. I mean, I think what you're doing here is going to inspire and help a lot of women, but I think it also sets a model forth that will probably inspire my prophetic word and form other ministries in general.
[00:53:22] Speaker B: I pray.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: Right. Because there's a mission here that's not even a direct one, but it'll indirectly impact the whole. It can indirectly impact the whole church, this way of doing things that we're going to not just help you pray, pay and obey, but we're going to help you kick butt.
[00:53:37] Speaker B: You've been replaced with sexual revolution through formation.
[00:53:39] Speaker A: Yeah, replacing the sexual revolution through formation.
[00:53:42] Speaker B: It's laughable. I'm like, we actually can replace the sexual revolution through formation because we're not saying, hey, here's.
[00:53:47] Speaker A: Hey, hobbits took down Sauron. You know what I'm saying? It's like, hey, here's a mom who sees a primary job as mom, right.
Who as a side project, is going to go ahead and throw the ring of Doom into the fiery pits of Mordor and save the world. So I'll pray that that happens.
Well, I think it's all while not sacrificing the rest.
[00:54:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I think that we should dare greatly. I think we should dream boldly.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: But you have done it, too, in a way that's kept balance. I mean, that's why you have to get back on the plane, you know? I mean, It's a way to go on that it's hard to do.
[00:54:18] Speaker B: Well, I'm going to say that I think, you know, what good is stranger in the world if my home is disordered. And I think that is my greatest contribution is my domestic church. And so. And I think that that's possible with formation. And I say that not without the crosses of it, but it has to be incorporated and integrated, you know, and so that's what my hope is, is that we need to give women greater capacity to change the world, but with the order of knowing that your first evangelization is your husband, your home, your children, and that our feminine gene is fully lived at our domestic church.
[00:54:52] Speaker A: What's the website?
Catholicfeminformation.com catholicfeminformation.com thanks for inspiring us today.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: Oh, thank you, Chris. Thank you for being open. I think that, you know, you've always been so open to, I think, women and to me and Ryan and this mission, it has been a labor of love.
You know, what's so good about it is that it's never. It's not mine to keep, but mine to give.
[00:55:15] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:55:15] Speaker B: So I'm free of it.
[00:55:16] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:55:17] Speaker B: It's taken me a long time to. Yeah.
[00:55:19] Speaker A: To get to that space.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I think it's my own, you know,
[00:55:21] Speaker A: Ministry is purifying, isn't it? When the Lord calls you to something.
[00:55:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And he reminds you that he prunes you because it's not yours, you know?
[00:55:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
But this is. That's been edifying for me, personally talking about this. Just.
Just to call back. It's always a calling back. The Lord calls us back from, hey, dude, it's not just about what you're doing. It's about who you becoming.
[00:55:41] Speaker B: It's who you become in the process.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: And I think you are the ministry. You are the tool. You are the. You're. You are God's program. Look at the history of the church as saints.
Saints of the program.
[00:55:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: We programatize our plans, and those are important. But the ultimate plan is if it's. If it's. It's gonna work, if it's actually making saints, which is God's plan.
[00:55:58] Speaker B: Correct. Yeah.
[00:55:59] Speaker A: People change the world. People change people if they do it right.
[00:56:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think also you like the friendship. I think. You know what I mean? Like the call of friendship for sanctity. I think that's really powerful, you know, to be able to say, listen, let's bring sand together our grasp, and those micro moments of excellence will live our Feminine genius.
[00:56:17] Speaker A: Let's land where we started. Do you know the Hail Mary in Cebuano?
[00:56:20] Speaker B: No, Chris. I'm sorry.
[00:56:21] Speaker A: Dang it.
[00:56:22] Speaker B: Do you know it? Please don't.
[00:56:23] Speaker A: I don't. I wish I did. Wouldn't that be cool? You know, if I drop that bomb right now, it'd be so cool.
[00:56:27] Speaker B: Oh, that would be really. To all the Filipinos out there, like, I'm so Filipino. I love my culture so much.
[00:56:32] Speaker A: Do you speak Cebu?
[00:56:33] Speaker B: I do, fluently.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: Hold on.
[00:56:35] Speaker B: And I practice it, but you just
[00:56:36] Speaker A: don't pray the Hail Marys in Cebuano.
[00:56:38] Speaker B: Yeah, I pray in English. You're right.
[00:56:39] Speaker A: Hold on. I mean, that's fine. Hail Mary in Cebuano, because you'll be able to read it. And I'd like to actually hear Cebuano.
[00:56:47] Speaker B: Oh, I could read it.
[00:56:49] Speaker A: So you could easily read.
[00:56:50] Speaker B: I could read it. Yeah.
[00:56:51] Speaker A: Here it is.
[00:56:51] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:56:52] Speaker A: You can start with the sound of the cross in Cebuano, too.
[00:56:54] Speaker B: This is like. Chris, this is. I just got my glasses.
[00:56:56] Speaker A: Did you?
[00:56:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Can you believe it? I'm 47, so I'm like.
[00:56:59] Speaker A: Did you just get your contacts?
[00:57:00] Speaker B: No, my.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: Oh, you. Oh, so this is a problem.
[00:57:03] Speaker B: Yeah. No, no, I can read it, but it's hilarious.
[00:57:05] Speaker A: It's gonna be out here.
[00:57:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's hilarious. Well, good job. You do, too. It's this new world that I'm in.
[00:57:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I have, like, 20, 15 visions. So I could see the bug on that screen, you know, thing across the
[00:57:16] Speaker B: room, but you can't.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: But up close is, like, gotta put it 15ft away.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: I'm like, okay, all right, that's it. Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
[00:57:23] Speaker A: Hold on.
[00:57:23] Speaker B: You just did that wrong.
Okay. And then the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
I don't have the sign of the cross, okay. Oh, my gosh. Magimaya camaria punokasa gracia anginong jos manana kanimo bulahan ikaus sababa ing tanan o bulahan man usab ang bungasatianmo nasi Jesus Santa Maria inahan casa dios ig ampo ko kaming makasasala karon uksaorasa amon igmatai. Amen.
[00:57:55] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: I haven't heard those words since I was a little girl because we used to do the rosary all the time.
[00:58:01] Speaker A: That's beautiful.
[00:58:03] Speaker B: Thank you for giving this to me as a gift.
[00:58:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Praise God. Hey, I love you. Thanks again. I'm so grateful.
Thanks for what you do. Thanks, Ryan, for sending her for a day. Thanks, everybody, for watching. We just love you guys and hope you were as inspired by this conversation as I was. We'll see you next time.
